Post-Artum

 Greetings. Those of you with an interest in the creative process may wish to note that completing "Super/Natural"  did not result in feelings of massive satisfaction.  Well--it did and it didn't.

While I feel it is without doubt the....how to phrase this....the bestestest project of my life, I had a lot of really big FEELINGS about this once it was suddenly cast into the past tense. I am very proud of it, I would never not want to have made it.  But now what???  

So, one feeling I felt was "why go on?"  There's no way I want to compete with myself or try to somehow outdo it.  Constantly ratcheting up the s creative stakes and going for the "next level" can be a real creativity killer (although I do believe there's a time and place for that type of thing). However, in this case, the next move has to be a leap into terra incognita. In addition, I've been going full throttle for 45 years, so there's some burnout here. Leaping around sounds a wee bit exhausting.

The cure for burnout is PLAY.  Sadly, I have forgotten how to play.  Or it feels like I have. I know a little about this.  In order to play one must lower the stakes to basically zero. There can be no pressure to make anything in particular.  That's the end of that sentence: its not make something good, to make something profound, to make something by a certain date or in a certain material; whatever. Play means not making anything at all that fulfills any sort of expectation whatsoever, zero conditions--full stop.

All this to say I have had a little bit of difficulty getting back on track.

First piece: "Wondermoths".  (34"x34" approx

I was playing.  Mostly what I "want" when working is to make something amazing.  Then I have to simmer down some and tell myself I just want to make ANYTHING. Don't ask me about intentions--that was the intention! 

 

Its funny because in November I am speaking at CraftNow and the theme of the symposium this year is "intention".  I have a lot of thoughts on how we overvalue intention when discussing art and I will be sure to let everyone know in Nov!  But, the one sentence version of it is, at the end of the day, who cares?  For example: maybe with "Wondermoths" I intended to make a piece comparing the gathering of insects by a light source to a solar system. Maybe I intended to say something about the attraction of light (which is a major obsession with stained glass artists if any of the AGG conferences I have attended is any indication.)

 

But the truth?  My only intention was to make the thing.  Every time I start thinking "what's it all about" I hit a massive choke point and the only way I can actually go on is to forget about intention.  Just make the damned thing!  I try to advise my students to think about this stuff when its DONE and not a moment sooner.  The role of thinking in art is tricky.  I don't want to encourage my students worst tendencies to be idiots.  But as I said--intention is overvalued and I hate crits where a student gets rewarded for making the thing they thought of.  I believe art is a process of making something you haven't though of!  But its OK to figure out what it was you did later.

What does "Wondermoths" mean?  you tell me.   

 

Next piece, still in progress.

"Dirty Countertop"

I can't believe I am doing a still life!  Why??? Oh god, why??   

Composite sketch.  Background is pencil, pen and photoshop.  Fruits and veggies are photos of glass.

Glass pieces

Cartoon (with pencil drawing (I never do that!)